He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
