maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
