It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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