We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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