I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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