You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
