fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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