My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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