they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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