thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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