i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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