bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
