Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
