; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
