I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
