Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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