I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
