tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Fuck me I smell like cheese
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize