I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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