OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
