Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
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Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
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High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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