Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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