Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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