she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
