Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
