so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
