remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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