They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
