I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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