I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
