Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
