NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
