We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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