Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
