were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
