was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
