remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
