I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
did i just pee glitter
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
