Will you blow on my dice?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
