Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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