I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
