Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
