I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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