in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
