Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Houston, we have a blender
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
