A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
