its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
