it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Randomize
