How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
