hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize