I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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