I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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