I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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