is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
