He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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