Just cropdusted the office
Michael Bay diarrhea
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
