dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
