You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
another moral hangover. fuck.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize