I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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