peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.