Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
