i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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