we have officially lost it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
