I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
