Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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