I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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